Posts Tagged ‘polyamorous relationships’

Many poly arrangements begin with two people in a “traditional” relationship who have very modern ways of thinking, and therefore decide to branch out. However, this kind of transition can be tough and hard to navigate. As somebody who’s done it, let me give you some advice on how to open up an existing relationship to new partners.

 

English: Polyamory contingent at San Francisco...

English: Polyamory contingent at San Francisco Pride 2004. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

  1. Communicate. Discuss what each of you want from this undertaking. Ask each other questions like: Why do you want to do this? What kind of partners are you looking for? What kind of relationship do you want with these partners? What are your boundaries and hard limits? What sort of relationship structure would be best for you?
  2. Be serious. Using polyamory as an excuse to cheat is not okay. If you are earnest about the poly philosophy and using it to benefit everyone involved, then you should proceed.
  3. Pick new partners together. Whether you are considering a triangle arrangement or not, it may help both partners ease into the lifestyle if you make the partner selection process into teamwork. That way, everyone feels comfortable, included, and maybe even excited!
  4. Learn to deal with jealousy. It WILL happen, and everybody has different methods of dealing with it. Try talking with your partner about it and asking for reassurance, and if that doesn’t help, arrange to go out with friends while your partner is on a date so you don’t feel lonely or left out. (I’ll make sure to write another post exploring this issue.)
  5. COMMUNICATE. Never stop asking yourself and your partner(s) questions, and always listen to the answers.

If anybody else has input, feel free to leave a comment!

 

 

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  • Polyamory large

    Polyamory large (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

    It might just be a natural part of you and the way you relate to others, like sexual orientation, and you shouldn’t deny a part of yourself.

  • Polyamory is about multiplying love and joy. The more opportunities you give yourself to love someone, the more love you will have in your life. And how can that be a bad thing?
  • It allows you to always be true to yourself and your emotions. Everybody has had interests in people that they couldn’t admit to their partners, and instead of shaming yourself for these natural feelings and hiding them, you get to explore them.
  • Different partners have different things to offer. My first foray into poly was with the admission that I was bisexual, and had never had a female partner. Boyfriend thought that was a shame, and here we are!
  • Everybody has something to teach you about yourself. Whether they are a romantic partner, a sexual partner, or just a friend, everyone has a reason to be in your life. This way, you can explore relationships to their utmost potential.
  • Everybody has something to teach you about sex. The more diverse sexual partners you have, the more creative you will be, and the better you will be able to cater to other partners’ needs.
  • You won’t be lonely when one partner is busy at work or out of town.

What are the pros of polyamory for you? Let me know in a comment!

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