Posts Tagged ‘Intimate relationship’

Many poly arrangements begin with two people in a “traditional” relationship who have very modern ways of thinking, and therefore decide to branch out. However, this kind of transition can be tough and hard to navigate. As somebody who’s done it, let me give you some advice on how to open up an existing relationship to new partners.

 

English: Polyamory contingent at San Francisco...

English: Polyamory contingent at San Francisco Pride 2004. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

  1. Communicate. Discuss what each of you want from this undertaking. Ask each other questions like: Why do you want to do this? What kind of partners are you looking for? What kind of relationship do you want with these partners? What are your boundaries and hard limits? What sort of relationship structure would be best for you?
  2. Be serious. Using polyamory as an excuse to cheat is not okay. If you are earnest about the poly philosophy and using it to benefit everyone involved, then you should proceed.
  3. Pick new partners together. Whether you are considering a triangle arrangement or not, it may help both partners ease into the lifestyle if you make the partner selection process into teamwork. That way, everyone feels comfortable, included, and maybe even excited!
  4. Learn to deal with jealousy. It WILL happen, and everybody has different methods of dealing with it. Try talking with your partner about it and asking for reassurance, and if that doesn’t help, arrange to go out with friends while your partner is on a date so you don’t feel lonely or left out. (I’ll make sure to write another post exploring this issue.)
  5. COMMUNICATE. Never stop asking yourself and your partner(s) questions, and always listen to the answers.

If anybody else has input, feel free to leave a comment!

 

 

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