Posted: July 22, 2012 in polyamory
Tags: ,

Just a quiet day at the beach today.

One person present was our old partner, Cassie. I say old because we haven’t been together sexually in a while; I think she’s moved onto other things, but I’m not sure what. She has this perplexing habit of pecking me on the lips or cheek, but only in front of other people. We’ll be with a group and I’ll get hello kisses, goodbye kisses, silly kisses, apology kisses, etc, but when we hang out alone watching a movie or something, we’re on opposite ends of the couch. I know she has great affection for me and everything, but it still confuses me.

Another friend there was Deb, who I kissed once at a party. I like her a lot (she’s adorable and I know Boyfriend is really attracted to her too) but I don’t think I’d do it again: she was a terrible kisser and I had a bad feeling that she was just trying to show off to her exboyfriend (who is one of my closest friends). But either way, she gave us both scritches and we made fun of straight, monogamous people together. As mostly platonic as that was, it was nice that me and Boyfriend were getting pretty equal attention.

I know that constantly striving for “equality” can really complicate a poly relationship, because it’s really impossible and everybody has different needs anyway, but until I get back to that point, it’s nice to feel really included while also getting some compersion for Boyfriend. I’m making baby steps. Soon I’ll get back to the point of not even needing “equality.”

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